A Screwed Up Fairy Tale
by Misunderstood-roker
Summary: Picture this Kagome is a princess, and she's always hated it. Now that she's 15, she's being married off to a prince named Inuyasha...and she hates him. Put them under one roof for 5 months and what does it leave you with? One screwed up fairy tale.InuKag
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but if I did, I would rule the ANIME not

**A Screwed up fairy tale**

By: S.A.M.

Summary: Picture this; Kagome as a princess being married off to a prince named Inuyasha….and she hates him. Put them under one roof for 5 months and what does it leave you with? One screwed up fairy tale.

I never really did like being a princess. I could never do ANYTHING fun because it was wrong.

No Animals, No Friends, No Sports, No Wrestling and NO MUSIC.

It was annoying, and everybody did everything FOR me. I'm surprised they even let me go to the bathroom alone.

I would always have to wear a dress, or a skirt. I hated it! I HATED not being able to wear jeans and a T-shirt.

No black, no bright green, no yellow, strictly golden, dark red and dark green.

No normal jewelry; expensive rubies, sapphires, diamonds…ARGH!

Oh! And I would always have Kari; that lady-in-waiting, following me around.

But what I hated the most was the whole marriage thing.

What was up with HAVING to get married at 15 with whoever my parents wanted me to!

That is just wrong. I guess for you to fully understand this whole story you have to go back to the day before my 15th birthday.

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

Kayki searched for her daughter desperately, knowing she was avoiding reality.

"Kagome, dear, we need to talk" she said knocking on her daughter's door.

No answer. "You can't avoid me forever you know" Kayki said before opening the door that led to a paradox of strangeness.

A vortex, meant as a current for escape. A place where if no one understands you, and it seams that the whole world is out to get to, you can use as a haven. Otherwise known as Kagome's room.

The room was vacant.

The main focus of the room was Kagome's bed. Located in the middle left of the room, against a wall, it was a canopy design. Black and dark blue silk and Egyptian cotton were neatly spread on top of it. Small silver moons, stars and clouds gave the bed sheets a normal-ish look. A Black velvet canopy draped over the bed with small golden leaf detail. On top of the sheets lay 7 pillows. Two big, soft white pillows on the bottom, square royal blue pillows lay on top of them. Then came two heart shaped royal blue pillows and a dark blue cotton pillow that said in gold cursive 'Kagome' Next to the bed where two oak nightstands etched with a large moon in the middle and stars as knobs.

On top of the nightstands where antique roman lamps with royal blue shades. The shades were etched with golden stars.

Directly in front of her bed was a large plasma screen TV balanced on an oak table with silver clouds accenting it. Wall speakers where installed on her dark blue walls.

A dark purple dresser and mirror combo was placed on the left of Kagome's bed against a wall. There was a window next to the plasma scream with blue curtain treatments and a black light set over it. On the right of Kagome's bed there was a pine door that led to her bathroom.

"Kami, why isn't she in here?" she asked as she rubbed her temples. Seeing as how the balcony was open, however, she made her way towards it and looked outside to enjoy the view of the garden. Just as she had suspected, her daughter was outside in the garden, probably picking flowers.

"Kagome get up here this instant!" she called down.

"I can't believe I have to get married tomorrow" a 14 year old Kagome said desperately. She looked dreadfully at her friend. "Oh, come on Kags, it's not THAT bad! At least someone's there and ready for you" said friend replied. Kagome rolled her eyes "Yeah and so do you. At least you have 2 more weeks" "Yeah and I can hardly wait!" was the eager reply. "Yeah, well you're in love, Inuyasha is such a jerk! I barely even know him!" Kagome yelled angrily. Her white horse neighed as she pulled his reigns. They had arrived at Kagome's Garden. Sango got off her brown and white horse and removed his reigns. She rolled her eyes and took a seat on a white bench.

Kagome plopped herself next to Sango and rolled her eyes. Kagome was dressed in a knee-length dark green dress and brown boots. Sango looked at her and smiled sadly. "It's OK Kags, only 5 months, then you can dump him and go back to being a single dimwit" she said warmly. Kagome rolled her eyes and was about to say a comeback before she heard her mom scream out her name. She looked up "Coming Mom" she said before getting up and opening the brass doors. "It's gonna be okay"

Sango mouthed before getting back on her horse.

The door slammed behind her as she walked into her room. "What do you want mom?" Kagome said trying not to sound irritated but failing desperately. "It's time for your wedding recital." Kayki said sweetly. "Oh COME ON mother, it's enough that I have to marry that idiot tomorrow but do I HAVE to see him to-"Kagome stopped abruptly due to the appearance of her Fiancé. "Oh hey" Kagome said quite stupidly. Inuyasha smirked "Nice to see you too" he said icily. "Okay, you two, I'll leave you alone to kiss and stuff" Kayki said with a wink "Be back in a minute" she said. "KISS AND STUFF! _KISS _AND STUFF! THE LAST THING ON MY MIND TO DO WITH THIS JERK IS KISS!" Kagome yelled after her. "It's not like it'll be a pleasure kissing your dirty lips" Inuyasha replied. Kagome glared daggers at him. "Exhibit A. to my theory; men are undeserving pigs who deserve to die" she muttered under her breath. "I heard that!" he said quite frankly annoyed. She scoffed "Good, then you know it's true" she said. "Well here's my theory; you're a bitch" he said. "And proud of it" She replied. He opened his mouth to reply, but Kayki got there first. "Hey you two love birds" Kayki said cluelessly. "Love birds? Yeah and my dog can fly" she said sarcasm dripping on the sentence. "I have to agree with the wench on this one." Inuyasha stated. Kayki ignored both of their remarks.

"Oh come on you two, we have to get you ready" Kayki said, that fake smile not once leaving her face. Kagome sighed impatiently, and grabbed Inuyasha's hand due to the fact she didn't feel like arguing with her mother. Inuyasha scowled and followed the mother and daughter.

"Have you two thought about your song yet?" Kayki asked. Kagome rolled her eyes. "No" she muttered. Inuyasha shook hi head silently. "No matter, you two can decide later on, in the meantime we have to get ready for the recital." Kayki unlocked two large oak doors and opened them to reveal a room where they kept their clothing. "Okay, Kagome, time to pick out your dress" Kayki said. Kagome rolled her eyes and followed her mother. At the sight of what her mother had picked out for her eyes widened. "Mom…are you crazy?" Kagome asked, her eyes not leaving the gown before her. The gown was white in color. It was a tube-top design with strings that went across her bear back. Along the collar of the dress was a black rose pattern that continued along the left side of the dress all the way to the bottom. Kayki frowned. "You don't like it?" Kayki asked. "No mom, I love it, but how much does it cost?" Kagome questioned. "Only two million dollars" Kayki said, emphasizing 'only'. Kagome rolled her eyes. "I love it mom" she said.

Kayki walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a cabinet, revealing a diamond necklace with black and white diamonds and matching dangle earrings. Kagome's eyes widened. "These were a present from Inuyasha and his parents. They're worth over 50,000 dollars." She said. "I think Inuyasha picked them out is that right son?" Kayki asked. Inuyasha nodded and mumbled a yes. Kagome leaned up and kissed Inuyasha's cheek. Inuyasha felt a light blush cross his cheeks. Kagome paid no regard and followed her mom.

"Okay, then there's the matter of your shoes." She concluded. She stepped over to a pair of slide in high heels with a black and white flower on the front of it.

"Do you like them?" Kayki asked. Kagome nodded. "Good, now go change into your clothes" Kayki said. Kagome followed orders and disappeared into one of the dressing rooms.

"What color tuxedo do you want to wear Inuyasha?" Kayki asked

Inuyasha thought for a second "White" he said mindlessly. "OK" Kayki said before grabbing his hand and pulling him towards a curtain. She pulled it open. There, stood a white tuxedo with a black rose on the side. There were black sneakers on the bottom. "What do you think?" Kayki asked. Inuyasha sighed "Maybe black" he said.

Kayki smiled and pulled back another curtain, unveiling a black tuxedo with the Inuyasha's Kingdom's insignia on the pocket. Inuyasha nodded, and Kayki squealed. "Go change" she said, and in about 4 seconds, Inuyasha was in a black tuxedo.

"Oh my god, you look so sweet!" Kayki said to Inuyasha. "Now, go change back to normal, we have to choose what you're gonna wear for the reception and after party.

Inuyasha sighed before disappearing back into his dressing room. Just then Kagome appeared in the hallway. "Well, what do you think?" she asked.

Her hair was in curls and the dress fit perfectly. The shoes did much to elevate her. To put it simply she looked gorgeous.

"You look beautiful!" Kayki said.

"She what" Inuyasha asked before making a futile attempt to look. "GET BACK IN THERE!" Kayki said sternly before forcing him into the dressing room.

"Quick honey, Get back in your room!" Kayki said to Kagome.

Kagome nodded through stifled laughter and went back into the room.

Kayki held Inuyasha in a head lock, who meanwhile was attempting to break loose.  
"Oh come on; don't make me pull your ears!" Kayki said grimly.

She let him go as Kagome went back outside in what she was originally wearing.

"Awe man" Inuyasha said before going back into the dressing room.

He went back outside and sat down.

"So, what are you two going to wear for the reception and after party?" Kayki asked. Inuyasha and Kagome simply shrugged. "Oh god, follow me" Kayki said before leading the 'couple' into a different room. On a mannequin, there was a dress. It was a black silk strapless multi-handkerchief dress. The ends and waistline were trimmed with white satin. Next to the mannequin was a pair of Renee black satin corset high heels.

"Do you like it?" Kayki asked. Kagome just nodded.

"Inuyasha, this is what you'll be wearing" Kayki said, revealing a black long-sleeved dress shirt, and black cargo pants. "Cool" he said.

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

Inuyasha and Kagome had eventually picked their clothes out for both events.

"This is so unfair" Kagome said sobbing. "It'll be alright" Sango said comfortably. "It's OK Princess Kagome" said Kari, her lady in waiting.

"Don't call me princess." Kagome snapped. Kari sighed and went back to doing Kagome's hair. "This sucks eggs" Kagome said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"It's for the kingdom, Kagome" Kari said. "Sorry for disrespecting you, Lady Kari" Kagome said to her lady-in-waiting. The woman had served as somewhat of a grandmother to her. "Why are you still a lady-in-waiting anyways?" Sango questioned. "Because this lady is waiting for a prince to come rescue her" Kari stated flatly.

"Yeah, yeah, At least you have a choice." Kagome retorted. "My Romeo gets chosen FOR me"

Kari rolled her eyes. "There, I'm done with your curls." Kari said, letting go of Kagome's hair.

Kayki came in then, a sympathetic look in her eyes. "Come on Kags, It's time for the recital" she said warmly.

Kagome got up and followed her mother. She looked back at her room to see her 2 closest friends smiling sadly at her, before returning gaze to the floor.

"Hey Kagome" InuYasha said kindly as he met her in the grand hall.

She smiled and took his hand. "Hey"

The two walked hand in hand, fooling every single person in the grand hall into thinking they were a happy in love couple.

"You look beautiful" InuYasha said pleasantly.

"Thanks, you look cool too."

Kagome and InuYasha were now sitting in a table surrounded by their friends.

"I wonder where Sango is" Kagome said.

"Who?" InuYasha asked

"My best friend"

"Well hello there you lovely lady" came a voice from aback.

Kagome turned to see a young man with raven black hair in a tux.

"Hello…and you are?"

"My name is Miroku, my pleasure to make your acquaintance"

"Hey bub, hands off, she's my fiancée" Inuyasha snarled.

Miroku immediately backed away, before sitting next to InuYasha.

The two shook hands and Kagome stared at them utterly confused.

"This is Miroku" InuYasha said. "My best friend and um…best man" InuYasha said.

"Nice to meet you, I'm the maid of honor." Said another voice.

It was Sango, of course.

She was wearing a baby blue dress with ruffles at the ends. Her hair was and slightly picked up. Miroku stood up and walked up to her.

They kissed passionately, and Miroku broke it.

"I can't do this. I'm getting married to the love of my life in 2 weeks." Miroku said overdramatically.

Sango rolled her eyes. "Neither can I, the man of my dreams is going to take my hand in marriage in 2 weeks."

"Who's that!" Miroku asked mock-outraged. Sango laughed before kissing him again and taking a seat next to Kagome.

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

That's the end of chapter one. Hope you like it!

-Misunderstood

(See that button, standing there?

Giving you an utter stare

It's calling you, saying to press

And take me out of distress

Obey the button's sincere command

And press it, setting me free of this band)


	2. Veg head?

Disclaimer: After so many wars, hardships and insults, I STILL don't own Inuyasha.

Screwed Up Fairy Tale

By: S.A.M.

Can't say the wedding was that bad, you know? My mom had decided to have InuYasha and I share a song called 'bring me to life' by evanescence. She had the idea that we might sing it, but when the time came, Inuyasha decided he wouldn't do it and though he denied it, I think he did it for me.

He proved to me that he could be a total sweetheart, but living with him...oh god...living with him was the hard part. He is a total slob, which isn't good because I'm a small type of neat freak. I can't really describe the whole thing because it's too horrible, so why don't just go back and...see for yourself?

♥○○◘•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

Kagome walked into her room with her previously described gown, it's tail trailing behind her. "Hey girls" Kagome smiled, waving at her bridesmaids. Sango, Rin, Kirara and Kagura all hugged her. "I can't believe they're actually making you go through with this!" Rin said, releasing her of the tight embrace. Kagome smiled. "Well, I can't do anything about it now can I?" The girls all shook their heads. "That's right" Kagura said. "I still can't believe their making you sing to him!" Kirara exclaimed. "Especially when my voice sucks.." Kagome moaned. The girls rolled their eyes at the bride. "Kagome, how many times do we have to tell you? Your voice doesn't suck!" Sango sighed. Kagome giggled. "Fine, I don't not believe you" Kagome said in sing songly voice.

"Sorry to interrupt girls." Kayki said knocking. "But the bride needs to get her hair done and you need to go slip into your dresses." The girls groaned. "Ugh, fine! Bye girls!" Kagome waved. "See ya!" they called back as they left. Kari came in just then. "Kagome, have a seat" she said kindly. Kagome did as instructed, sitting in her oak chair in front of the mirror. Kari grabbed Kagome's hair into her old kind hands. "So how are you feeling about this?" she asked as she brushed it into a braid. "I'm okay, i gotta accept it don't I?" Kagome replied. Just then Sango came in. She wore a dark blue silk dress that reached her ankles and dark blue high heels that were barely visible. Her hair was in a high formal loose bun with to curly strands framing her face. "I'm done with myself. Only took 4 minutes" she said proudly. "As usual." Kagome assured. Kari smiled at the two young girls. "Hey Kari, how come your still a lady-in-waiting?" Sango asked after a 2 minute silence. "Because" Kari said sighing desperately. "This lady is still waiting for her knight in shining armor to get off his lazy ass to come and take her out of waiting." Kari spat. The girls burst out in laughter, their guts hurting them and their cheeks. "Girls, stop laughing at me and just be grateful that someone's there." she said. Kagome and Sango stopped laughing, then looked at each other and burst again. Kari was trying not to get mad, and kinda looked like a squirrel puffing up her cheeks.

"I'm done" she said to Kagome. Kagome turned and looked into the mirror to see a section of her hair pulled up with the rest of it down and curly. "Wow." she as she saw the beautiful picture in the mirror. Her eye shadow was a smoky color bringing out the midnight-blue, and her lips were soft and pink. "I think you look adorable" Kari said. Kayki stepped in then. "Its time" she said softly. Kagome nodded and walked out. Sango looked worried. "She'll be fine" Kari assured.

♥○○◘•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

The girls walked in one by one with their couples. And finally, it was my turn. 'Here comes the bride' played softly on the organ, and I knew it was time to seal my fate.

_1 step, 2 step, 1 step, 2 step, I hope I don't fall. _I thought steadily as I walked, a bouquet of flowers held firmly in my hands. Inuyasha and I locked gazes, and it was sad to think that our youth would go down the drain after today. "Hi" I whispered as I reached him, he smiled and waved softly in response.

_We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in..blah blah blah blah blah and all that shit we're supposed to listen to. 'God I hate weddings...stupid people..think we're supposed to pay attention'_

_Inuyasha stood their, gazing at the priest, though she could easily tell he wasn't paying attention. 'I have to admit he's cute' Kagome said, staring at him from the corner of her eye._

"_Not to mention sweet" she considered. 'ACK Kags! Get a hold of yourself! This is Inuyasha you're talking about! INUYASHA!' _

_Kagome's thoughts were broken by the priest's words. _

"Take these rings, Kagome Higurashi, and repeat after me."

She did as she was told.

"Inuyasha Takahashi, with this ring, I thee wed."

_**Paper or plastic** bags?_'I thee wed' _**oh my god, where am I , who's that pretty girl, in a wedding dress...OH! RIGHT! Um..ring..OH THE RINGS! **_

His head shot towards Kagome, a look of pure confusion and then realization in his eyes.

They did the rings.

Suddenly, both of the teenagers went into space again.

"I do" she does? Cool. Wait, what does she do? OH! That the wedding.

"Inuyasha do you.."

Do I really? Do I? Should I? Oh shit thats right its my wedding!

"I do!" he blurted innocently.

Kagome smiled at Inuyasha, though he didn't really realize it.

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife" the priest said happily.

Shit, this means I gotta kiss her.

And sure enough; "You may now kiss the bride."

The so-called couple looked at each other for a moment, trying to decide what to do.

Before long, however, as the whole room fixed their gazes on them, Inuyasha hesitantly reached for her and kissed her soft lips.

♥○○◘•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

The kiss didn't last very long. Her lips were soft and sweet, and the moment our lips touched, goosebumps reached my feet.

I never noticed how pretty she was until that precise moment, though I don't think I'm a very good kisser. As soon as we parted, however, the room erupted into applause. Some how, I knew from that very moment that it would be okay.

♥○○◘•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

I never had been kissed in such a way ever in my life. The kiss was short and sweet, and it made my insides melt. I never knew something so small could make my feelings over react in such a way. As soon as it had begun, however it ended and I opened my eyes only to see his amber pools and get locked in his trance. Applause broke that moment, though I wish it hadn't because I loved his eyes.

♥○○◘•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

A scowl could be seen on Kagome's face as she sat down on her white leather sofa, though you could easily tell by her eyes she felt like smiling. The 'couple' had recently moved into their home; a small white cottage on Inuyasha's kingdom. She sighed. "I adore living here." she said softly. "Speak for yourself." Inuyasha said scowling from the other sofa. "Its too small." Kagome's eyes widened in shock. "What the fuck! You call 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 3 kitchens, 2 dining rooms, 4 living rooms and a den small? Plus we have the backyard; 10 stables, a guest house and a small forest with a stream and a bridge that leads to a meadow leading to a waterfall. I don't think its small, I think it's perfect."

He couldn't help but smile at her taste. She was right- the place was homey, but it was way smaller than his previous castle.

He stretched and yawned, lying down in the sofa. She smiled as she, too stretched into her green turtle neck, and rested her feet atop the coffee table to watch TV.

His eyes closed slowly, and with one last blink he was asleep.

♥○○◘•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

In this small cottage, there lived a hanyou, and at this particular moment, its ears twitched. He growled. "Who the hell interrupted my sleep?" he demanded to the thin air, sitting up. Piano music filled the room, and the hanyou stood up to follow it. **_BANG _**He yelped as his toe hit the control remote. "WHO PUT THAT THERE?"He demanded to the air. He followed the sound of piano music until he reached his room, where realization dawned upon him. There she was, his wife, playing the piano. Her fingers expertly touched the keys in a melody that he enjoyed. Before she could open her mouth to sing, Inuyasha opened his big mouth. "Wow, so you ARE good for something, wench". She stood up. "Gosh Inuyasha." she said quite madly. "Can't I have at least 1 minute of peace?" "You!" he demanded. "You're the one who interrupted my sleep!" She rolled her eyes at this. "Oh wow InuYasha, you poor baby. I'm gonna go hang my head in shame now." she said sarcastically, bumping into him as she walked out. "Keh"

♥○○◘•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

"Kagome?" Inuyasha whined to the girl as she watched Laguna beach. "What?" she asked sharply. "I'm huunnggrry!" he whined. Kagome closed her eyes and almost immediately opened them again, a light glistening in them. "What do you want?" she asked. "Um...chicken, beef, tuna, whatever you're eating, really."

"I'm a vegetarian."

♥○○◘•♥•♥•♥•♥•♥

Yes people. I've finally updated.

Apocalypse, I know I know.

Anyways, that's not what I wanted to say. Someone decided to flame me. If you're one of my friends, you'll understand how drastic this is.

Here's a copy of the bold reviewer's review.

El Diablo! Why are you taking so Damn long to update? Tu stupida Mardita hija de la gran puta!

In case, person, you have not noticed, I speak spanish. Ok? It's called computer problems and writer's block. If you can't understand this or be atleast bold enough to put your name, well I don't think I should pay any special attention to you. Therefore, I have 3 words: Go to hell.

PS: My mother isn't anymore of a bitch than yours.

WOO!

Now, another reviewer.

Hearii: I was using my school computer, LOL.

Sugar Freak: TY for understanding

Youkaigirl: Here's your chappie!


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha_

…_..yet…….._

**A screwed up Fairy Tale**

**By: Sam**

Vegetarian, she says 'Vegetarian!' what the hell is that supposed to mean…vegetarian…I swear…if she's offending me…

"What's a ve-ga-tar-ean?" Inuyasha asked dumbly.

Kagome stared. "A vegetarian" she began, mastering her temper and replacing it with patience, "Is a person who does not eat animals."

"…Meaning you don't eat meat"

"Correct"

"Why?" was his next question.

"Because" she began "I don't support or believe in the ways they get the meat"

"You mean killing them?" he asked.

She nodded. "Only, more so"

Inuyasha sat down, a look of thought on his face.

_He's so cute when he thinks._

"What do you mean by that?" he asked. Immediately the 'cute' thoughts vanished. She closed her eyes and sighed quietly.

"Margery" She yelled. Immediately, a petite woman with brown hair she was keeping in a bun appeared. "Yes Princess Kagome?"

"Can you please do me the favor of bringing me a laptop?"

Margery nodded, before running off. She came back five minutes later. A new laptop was in her hands.

Kagome sighed. "Thank you, Margie" she said. Once Margie disappeared, Kagome stood up.

"Where are you going, Kagome?" InuYasha asked. "To get my laptop" she called over her shoulder.

She came back with a blue and white laptop.

Sitting down, she opened her laptop and began to type away ' Inuyasha" she began "These creatures get tortured on a regular basis. I don't support how they are cruelly treated."

Inuyasha looked at her with a questioning glance, but Kagome was ahead of him, as she clicked on a video.

Loud moo's echoed through the room with occasional comments by InuYasha. One of those particular times, the conversation went like so:

"Dude! They just killed a pig with a brick!"

Kagome nodded, holding back tears.

"DUDE! THEY JUST CUT A CHICKEN'S BEAK OFF!"

Again, Kagome nodded.

"At least they didn't kick off his – OOOHH! WHERE IT HURTS MOST…AND WITHOUT PAINKILLERS!"

Kagome turned around to look at Inuyasha expectedly.

"I'm still eating meat" he said. She rolled her eyes. "Fine" she said, wiping her tears. "I've done my best"

She stood up and headed for the kitchen. "Are you sure you don't want what I'm eating?" she asked. He nodded and yelled back "Of course, I'm a man, and men do NOT eat tofu cakes with water." She rolled her eyes "Fine"

So Kagome returns to the living room, a hanyou waiting for her, watching TV like a zombie.

"Inuyasha, the food's ready"

Grunt.

"Inuyasha…" she said, passing her hand in front of his face"

Grunt.

She thought of something, and hurriedly went to the kitchen and fetched a glass of water…And poured it on his head.

Grunt: no movement.

Kagome growled, and suddenly ran to the kitchen again. She took a glass and broke it.

Grunt.

She sighed, reluctant to try again, and just walked to the table.

"I guess I'll just have to eat alone then" she said, and took a seat.

Inuyasha's head shot up "WHAT! God lady, you're supposed to be my wife and you were going to EAT without ME?" he yelled hysterically. "Seriously…me? Not eating? You're supposed to be the NICE one..." and he took a seat. Kagome only sweat dropped.

The butler, Jeeves what an original name... came with a long tray of food. "Prepared by lady Kagome, master Inuyasha will be having a Hamburger and the French fries." The French man said, silencing the 'H' in 'hamburger', saying 'Z' instead of 'The' and doing that weird sound with the 'R'.

Inuyasha nodded and took a bite of his burger.

"Do you like it?" Kagome asked.

Inuyasha swallowed. "Actually," he took another bite "It's pretty good."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Inuyasha" Kagome said, smiling.

Then, Jeeves came with a plate. "And for lady Kagome" he began, and unveiled the plate. "Chicken and rice"

There was a clank as Inuyasha dropped his fork. "I ough o ai u re a veteain" He said, his mouth still full.

"I am a vegetarian" Kagome said calmly, taking a mouthful of rice. She swallowed. "This is tofu."

"I nt om!" Inuyasha protested.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha" she said, cutting some chicken. "Since you said you were too 'manly' to eat tofu," she said, putting the chicken into her mouth. "I only made enough for me and Kaede."

Inuyasha swallowed. "Stupid…tofu….good….burger…"

Kagome smirked. "Inuyasha, with all due respect, shut up and eat."

Inuyasha sent a glare at Kagome which she only returned with a bigger smirk.

Kagome and Inuyasha sat on the black leather couch, a look of horror on Kagome's face.

"Oh my god!" she squealed, and put her hand in front of her face.

Inuyasha looked at her from the corner of his eyes, smirking.

Another scary scene passed by the screen, as Kagome squealed again and grabbed on to Inuyasha's arm.

Inuyasha furrowed his brow. "Oi, Kagome, are you okay?" he asked. She simply nodded, entranced by the 'Ring'.

Kagome screamed again and Inuyasha subconsciously wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. As another scary scene went by, she cuddled into him with wide eyes.

"Don't worry" he whispered into her ear, making her shiver. "It's almost over." She nodded.

The movie finished, and Inuyasha and Kagome were slowly moving out of their position.

Just when Inuyasha was about to take his arm off Kagome, the doorbell rang. Kagome squealed and clung onto Inuyasha, and as if on reflex he wrapped his arm around her more securely. Inuyasha recognized the sound and smiled down at Kagome. "Only pizza." He said, before reluctantly standing up. Kagome shook her head, and popped in another movie. Inuyasha looked her way, as the girl looked through the movies. Her hair was loose and she was in polka dot blue shorts and a loose oversized gray sweater. 'She's pretty' he thought.

And so the newly weds sat down, eating pizza and watching scary movies.

The next evening, Kagome, Inuyasha, Sango and Miroku sat in the living room, watching 'The Ring 2'. "Before the next movie starts" Kagome said, getting up from beside Inuyasha. "I'm gonna go change into my PJ's "she said and started going towards her bedroom before she heard Miroku.

"My dear lady Sango" he said "I think more action is going to be going on with Inuyasha and Kagome than the movie. I think maybe we should get going." Kagome turned around slowly, looking scarier than Samara herself. "What…did you just say?" she asked. Sango looked anxiously between Inuyasha and Kagome, and her fiancé, who seemed to be asking for death. 'Why does he have to be so stupid?' she asked herself.

"Get that for me, will ya Inuyasha?" Kagome said with mock calmness.

"My pleasure" Inuyasha said through clenched teeth. WHACK "I suggest you calm your passions, lecher boy" Inuyasha said.

A few minutes later, Kagome emerged from the room, carrying a cup of coffee. "Hey Sango" she said, sitting next to Inuyasha. "I really think you should calm your pet pervert if you want him to live." Sango smiled. "I think he can take care of himself. And right now I think he's right, it's getting late, and we should get going."

"You know what that means Inuyasha" Miroku said.

"What the hell are you winking at?" Inuyasha asked.

Miroku looked crestfallen. "I'm not…winking..."

"Right" Kagome said sarcastically "There's just something in your eye."

Miroku nodded "At least someone understands me!"

'He's dumber than I thought' Kagome, Sango and Inuyasha thought at the same time.

"You know, I'm starting to like your idea of leaving." Kagome said.

"Wow" said Miroku. "Can't you show a man some love?"

"That's Sango's job not ours"Inuyasha said "And I agree with Kagome, get out"

Sango decided to help her future husband out. "C'mon Miroku" she said. "These 2 seem to be eager to get it on" she whispered at a very audible level, and ran out with Miroku.

At the same time, 2 pillows hit the closed door. "Missed me, missed me" Miroku taunted. 2 more pillows flew his way. "Ha-ha I'm too fast" 2 more pillows "Missed me, missed- "**WHACK_, WHACK, WHACK_(BOOM CRASH WHACK OUCH)**Miroku let out a large 'Ouch' before falling to the ground unconscious, courtesy of Inuyasha, Kagome and Sango. Inuyasha had finally given up the 'let me catch him with a pillow' method and decided he would try the 'get up and kick his sorry ass' method, and proved the second one much more efficient. Kagome had decided to stop taking it easy on Miroku and threw a…variety of large...hard objects at Miroku's head. Finally, Sango decided since Miroku was already unconscious, he wouldn't notice, and she would let out her rage on him.

Sango smiled and dragged Miroku out of the room, looking sheepish.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "She's becoming as bad as him"

"Yeah, I know" agreed Inuyasha.

"Hey, Inuyasha"

"Yea"

"Don't you have to put on your pajamas too?"

"Actually, yea" Inuyasha said, mesmerized by the movie.

"Well, I know I'm gonna get the right side of the bed now."

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna BEAT YOU THERE!" she said, jumping over the couch and scrambling towards the stairs.

It only took the hanyou about 2 minutes to figure out what the princess was planning.

"Wench, get your ass back here!"

"NEVER!" the girl called back.

Inuyasha growled and sprinted into a run.

Inuyasha was obviously the faster of the two, but now that Kagome had a (very big) head start, she was winning. As she started to climb the stairs, the hanyou jumped up and was only a few feet from the floor. However, Kagome got there 2 seconds faster and slammed the door in the hanyou's face.

"Oi, wench, lemme in!" he screamed, banging at the door.

"Inuyasha, patience is a virtue"

"What the hell is a virtue and who gives a crap?" he yelled impatiently, banging at the door.

Kagome sighed and opened the door, after a good half an hour, stepping back as Inuyasha fell forward.

"I was taking a shower." She said calmly as she dried her hair with a towel.

"Yeah yea" Inuyasha grumbled, spitting out some carpet.

Kagome held out her hand for Inuyasha but he just scowled and ignored it, getting up.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I'm gonna go get some milk." She said, walking over him.

"Stupid girl" Inuyasha growled, once she was out of earshot. A mischievous smirk then played on his face "I'll teach her to lock me out of my own room." He said, walking in the room and locking the door behind him.

About 30 minutes later, Kagome was outside of her room, locked out.

She knocked twice. "Inuyasha..." she said impatiently, her hands on her hips. She knocked again. "You made your point" she said, tapping her foot on the cold floor. She received no answer and rolled her eyes. "Fine, Inuyasha I'll see in the morning" she said, turning on her heel and walking out towards the living room.

Inuyasha chuckled inside his room. "She'll be back" he said smirking.

Inuyasha furrowed his brow in concern. 'Why isn't she knocking again' he thought. He glanced at his clock. '4 A.M.?' he thought. He brought his covers over him as a cold wind suddenly came in through his open window. 'What is she crazy? It must be FREEZING outside!' Inuyasha growled in frustration and sighed in defeat. He took the warm covers from his cold body and walked towards the door. "Stupid girl" he grumbled, "Making me get up." Inuyasha walked into the hallway and hurriedly walked down the flight of stairs. "Kagome…" he called softly. He walked into the first living room and growled, seeing Kagome on the couch, shivering with only a couple thin sheets as protection from the cold. He sighed and took her bridal style, before jumping onto the flight of stairs and taking her to the room. Setting her gently on the bed, Inuyasha covered her with sheets and walked towards the door. "Good Night Kagome." He whispered before closing the door.

Statistics:

Pages: 7

Words: 2,023

Characters, no spaces: 9623

Characters, with spaces: 11563

Paragraphs: 113

Lines: 305

beams at statistics this probably isn't much compared to others but for me it's a record! smiles now, aren't u proud of me! hands ferrero rochers to reviewers for no reason. ok people, now u can not angry review me and be happy! Expect an update soon (spring break is coming and I want to get at least 2 chapters done before its over) REVIEW!


	4. An announcement

_Disclaimer: I do not Inuyasha….but if I did...id have enough money to get rid of my brother _

**A screwed up Fairy Tale**

**By: Sam**

The next morning Kagome woke up by the sound of frantic pounding on her door. Before she could even open her eyes Inuyasha had burst into her room, his face gone white.

"My dad...my dad wants to see us this afternoon!" he said breathlessly.

"Well...what's wrong with that?" Kagome asked raising an eyebrow.

"My dad wants to **_see_** us!" he said emphasizing the 'see' as if it made a difference.

She rolled her eyes. "Inuyasha…go back to sleep"

"You don't understand!" he persisted "The last time he summoned me he told me I was gonna marry YOU!"

Kagome sat up and glared at the hanyou. "Inuyasha…have you ever played dodge ball?" she asked, her eyebrow twitching.

He stared at her and nodded. "Yeah but I'm not very good…oh crap"

A number of objects, including a shoe, a pillow (and somehow a rock) hit Inuyasha's head before he reached the floor.

When he finally reached safety from Kagome's surprisingly strong arm (and consciousness) he rubbed his skull and felt something on his head. Taking if off he saw a...bra! Inuyasha stormed back to the bedroom door and shouted. "What do you think you're doing throwing your b...br...br...br..." He paused and stuck out his tongue. _**What is up with my mouth?** _

"What Inuyasha? My bra?" asked Kagome.

He nodded.

"Yes, I put that around my breasts" she said, posing with it over her chest. "Haven't you ever seen one before?"

Inuyasha fainted.

xxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxx

20 minutes later the young couple was in their living room, waiting for the King's grand entrance. Inuyasha, looking like a nervous wreck, and Kagome looking homicidal. Inuyasha soon looked homicidal as well when he saw who accompanied his maid.

It was none other than Sesshoumaru and Kagura Takahashi.

"What are you doing here?" Inuyasha spat through clenched teeth.

"Little brother, I'm not any happier to be in this...disgusting place you call a home than you are having me here."

"Whatever" Inuyasha said rolling his eyes. "Where's his royal tard head?"

"Sadly, Inuyasha, I have not yet mastered the art of mind reading, so like you, I have no idea what your father has planned for us."

Kagome watched the brothers and rolled her eyes. "I hope our kids don't end up like this..."

"Hah! Like I'd want to have kids with you!"

"Although I pity your wife Inuyasha, I think that's a must. That or she could go to a sperm bank." he turned to Kagome. "I think the latter option is better. You don't want your children coming out retarded."

Kagome giggled.

Inuyasha glared at Sesshomaru. "Well, at least my first time wasn't with a guy…"

Kagura's eyes widened "Yeah, I don't think I'm having children with you...Sesshomaru, sorry…"

"No! Kagura! You don't understand! I was 17…I…I was drunk.."

"Of course you were…" Inuyasha said sarcastically.

Kagome burst out laughing. "No, go on" she said when they stopped to stare at her. "You guys are HILARIOUS"

Kagura scoffed. "You've seen nothing yet; these morons have spent hours fighting over whose hair is shinier."

"Which, of course is mines" Inuyasha bragged.

"I beg to differ bro, mines is definitely shinier.." Sesshomaru retorted.

Kagome cracked up again, after which Inuyasha took a vow of silence.

"So...was yours also an arranged marriage Kagura?" Kagome asked to break the silence.

"Do you honestly think I would pick this guy if it were up to me?"

"Kagura, I thought..." Sesshomaru questioned.

"HA!" Inuyasha said, putting his arm around Kagome and forgetting his vow of silence.

"At least mines thinks I'm hott!"

"I do?" Kagome questioned

Sesshomaru chuckled. "At least mine finds me smart"

"Are you okay?" Kagura asked.

"Children, children," chuckled the king. "Can't we all just get along?" he asked, making his grand entrance.

"Fat Chance" Grumbled Inuyasha.

The adults sat on the 'royal' couch and listened to their 'royal' elder.

"The reason I called you here is because I have a very important announcement, Ok?"

"As long as I don't have to marry another stupid guy, I'm fine" Kagome replied

"Hah, like anyone else would take you," said Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru laughed. "I'd watch my mouth or you'll end up single forever"

"I wouldn't be talking" Kagura replied.

"Now!" the king said loudly. "Be quiet all of you or I'll be forced to put you in time out"

Rolling his eyes, Sesshoumaru said, "Father, we are not 5 anymore."

"No? Well, you could have fooled me."

Inuyasha chuckled.

"You especially, Inuyasha" the king said.

Inuyasha flattened his ears onto his head and kept quiet.

"As you all know, I have to pick between these two...uh...unique gentlemen to be King"

"We know the obvious choice there" Sesshomaru said.

"Neither," said Kagome quickly.

"AND SO" the king continued  
"

Will you just get on with it?" demanded Inuyasha.

"I'm TRYING to if you'll just SHUT UP!"

"Then go ahead" Inuyasha said smartly. "I NEED TO FIND THE EASIEST WAY!" The king screamed.

"What's that? Eanie, Meanie, Miny Mo?" Kagome said flatly.

"Actually" the king continued loudly "A tournament"

"Poker?" asked Sesshoumaru hopefully

"Poker?" screeched Kagura. "You lost a million dollars the last time you played poker!"

"Well that's OBVIOUSLY NOT IT" The king yelled. Inuyasha chuckled again.

"Then, maybe horseback riding" Kagome suggested

Sesshomaru scoffed "Last time we tried THAT Inuyasha got a rather...large boo-boo in a really vulnerable area"

"No one ever told me you weren't supposed to grab the horse by its ears," grumbled InuYasha

"ANYWAYS: It's a tournament, with many especially picked courses  
that determine who would serve as a better king" the king continued, losing his patience.

"Like a giant maze?" asked InuYasha. "I've always wanted to go in one of those"

"Yes, please, I'd LOVE to see him get stuck…I mean…go in one of those!" Kagome said eagerly.

Sesshomaru laughed. "Like a tiny mouse, yes I rather like that idea."

"Can we fill it with lions and tigers and bears?" Kagome continued with a grin, spacing out into her own Inuyasha-torturing world.

Kagura smirked. "I'll go for it if Sesshomaru does it too."

"There will be NO maze!" shouted the king "What bloody good does a maze do in determining the better king?" he said exasperatedly.

"Well, he COULD get lost in it!" Piped up Kagura

The king rolled his eyes "Maybe it's a better idea to put ALL of you in there." He grumbled.

"While blindfolded and duct taped. With a horde of rampaging elephants set loose." Kagura smirked, looking at Sesshomaru evilly.

"I'll just live forever. Forget this king business" the king said to himself.

"But I want to be king!" whined InuYasha

"With you as King, the kingdom will run away" Kagome said dryly. "And I'll go with it"

"Which is why I would make a better choice"

Kagura rolled her eyes. "Why? So you can lose the kingdom in a game of poker? "One bloody game of poker and it goes downhill.."

"I million dollars Sesshomaru! 1 million! That's money for the poor!"

"It was only 1 million dollars."

"One? It was one million last week. 2 million with the week before, Shall I continue?" She demanded.

Sesshomaru pouted.  
"Oh and my favorite was last month, When you almost bet ME" She added. "If I hadn't come in time, I'd belong to Joe: whoever THAT is!"

"I had a pair, it was a guaranteed win," defended Sesshoumaru  
"A PAIR! You were going to bet me on a PAIR?"  
The king out let out a heavy sigh

"Do you even know how to play poker?"

"Yes I took lessons!"

"From who? A squirrel?"

"But squirrels are cute!"

"THAT'S IT! FORGET EXPLAINING! IM BLOODY OUTTA HERE! THE TOURNAMENT STARTS NEXT WEEK! ADIEU AND GOODBYE!" The king screamed, losing his patience and storming out of the room.

"Kagome, what does adieu mean?" whispered InuYasha

Kagome rolled her eyes. "It means your not king."

"But I wanna be king."

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes "Here we go again..."  
The king suddenly stormed back in, a big slap mark on his cheek  
"What are _you_ still doing here?" Inuyasha questioned.  
"Your mother…insists I explain this tournament to you in further detail"

The king immediately passed out tootsie pops to the four "adults".  
"CANDY!" cheered Inuyasha.

"Good, perhaps that should occupy you lot while I talk," sighed the king in

relief

"The tournament" the king began, looking at them as if waiting for an interruption. The only sound he heard was the sound of four adults happily sucking on their tootsie pops.

"Begins next week," he continued, satisfied with him.  
"Daddy"

"Yes Inuyasha?" the king asked, more than a little ticked off.

"How many licks does it take to reach the center of a tootsie pop?"

"I don't know...Inuyasha...count"

"Ok! One...lick! Two…licks!" Inuyasha looked entertained.

"It starts next week and it tests your skills"

"Um kagome? What comes after two?"

"3" she said coldly.  
"Thank you... 3 Lick! 4 lick! 5lick!"  
"It lasts 3 months and the women will also participate"

"WHAT?" Kagura yelled.

"Why?" Sesshomaru asked calmly.  
"HAHA!" Inuyasha said with his lollipop still in his mouth.

Kagome looked about ready stick the lollipop up Inuyasha's butt.

"11 LICK, 12 LICK!"  
"I will stick this up your ear if you don't stop it now," Sesshomaru shouted.

Kagome whiplashed and looked at Sesshomaru **_It's as if he read my mind…_**

"Thank you Sesshomaru. Now! It lasts 3 months and the first event..."

"Thirteen..." crunch! "Ow...I think I chipped a tooth"

The king looked crestfallen.

"Daddy, why are tootsie rolls so damn hard?"  
"Dad? Why is Inuyasha so damn Stupid?" Sesshomaru asked.  
"POTTY MOUTH NOOBS!" Kagome screeched.

"Dad?"

"Yes Kagura!" he asked.

"My tootsie pop went bye-bye"  
"I accidentally dropped it in Inuyasha's hair"  
"What!"  
"Daddy!"

"He's touching me!" Kagome whined as Sesshomaru began poking her.  
"Um, it's ok, I can get it out. Let's see...oops," giggled Kagura.  
"I think I just got it more stuck"  
Suddenly, the king got a wickedly…happy smile on his face  
He walked out of the room and came back in with a bucket of chocolate  
20 minutes later, 4 chocolate covered adults sat in the living room of a small palace, pouting their butts off.

"Um, this might be a bad to say...I'm kind of allergic to chocolate" said Kagome sheepishly.

The king splashed water on her.

"Thank you"  
The queen burst into the room angrily "ARE YOU DONE YET!"

"Well...you see..."  
The queen took the king by the ear and sat him down next to the rest of the "adults'

"Honestly, he can deal with a kingdom but not with kids..." she grumbled  
"We're not kids!" Kagura protested

"You could have fooled me" retorted the queen  
"Oooh Kagura's in trouble!"  
"Sesshomaru shut up this instant!"

Sesshomaru pouted and hung his head. "Yes mommy"

"As I was saying the tournament lasts for 3 months and the first event, which is next week Wednesday, will be held in town square"

"Why are we having a tournament?" asked Inuyasha suddenly

"Excuse me" the queen said, before walking out of the room and returning with a pair of scissors

"Inuyasha, do you love your hair?" She asked suddenly.

Inuyasha's eyes widened before he grabbed his chocolate covered hair protectively."Yes mommy, and I love you very much"

"Suck up," coughed kagome

"Kagome, do you like your hair?"

"Yes" she said sheepishly. She raised her hand.

"Yes Kagome?"

"Why'd you have to have such a stupid son?" Kagome responded.

"I'm sorry my dear, we dropped him on his head when he was a baby"

Inuyasha rubbed his head.

"And why do I have to marry him?" she asked.  
"We drew your name out of a hat" the queen said apologetically.

"Nuff said, proceed" Kagome said, looking mournful.

"Besides, Kagura would have killed him by now and the kingdom would have been lost in a game of poker" she said, looking at Sesshomaru pointedly who found a spot on the wall to look at.

"As I was saying, the event is a simple twister competition, just to decide which team will participate first"

"Except its twister in a pool"  
Kagura's hand shot up. "Why in a pool?"

"Simply because we would like to test your agility"

"What does agility have to do with being king?" Inuyasha asked.

"It's entertainment" the king said matter-of-factly.

"Honey, you weren't supposed to tell them that!" admonished the queen "But, after all, they have no power. So see you next week." She added as a second thought. "And now I and the king are late for an afternoon engagement of 'Air Bud', so Toodles!"

EnD ChApTeR

Ok sO yeS tHaT iS tHe EnD Oof tHiS vErY pOiNtLeSs ChApTeR, hOpE yOu EnJoYeD tHe HuMoR!

ReViEw!


End file.
